My Best Friend Knew My Husband Was Cheating and Didn’t Tell Me

A little over a month ago, I found out that my husband (28m) had been cheating on me. I know for a fact that it happened at least three times, but I have to assume there were more incidents. It was all with the same woman, who’s about 31 or 32 and works with him. She was even a guest at our wedding.

He cheated on me while I was going through IVF. I had three miscarriages—one before we were married and two after. I told my best friend everything, and she encouraged me to keep going, to have faith. She saw how much I was struggling, especially since my husband desperately wanted to be a father. What hurts the most is that she knew about the affair and let me get pregnant, knowing I was being cheated on.

Her husband also knew—he’s good friends with mine. And the worst part is, she was my maid of honor. She knew about his cheating before our wedding and still let me walk down the aisle.

I found out when my (now ex) husband came back to our house after moving out. He apologized, promising to tell me everything, and handed me his phone as proof. He told me that two of his friends and my best friend knew. I went through the messages between them, and there was one text that made my stomach turn. He texted her, saying he “f*cked up again,” and she was oddly sympathetic towards him.

While she defended me in some of the conversations, she never told me. She never once voiced concern about my relationship, even when I talked about my marriage. She always told me how lucky I was, how much he loved me.

She suggested couples therapy even after I told her I’m done. I’m trying to understand her perspective, but it’s hard. We’ve been friends for 14 years, and I’ve always been there for her. But now, I can’t seem to get past the betrayal. We were all raised religiously, and now she keeps pressuring me to stay married, even after everything, saying that divorce isn’t okay. But she wants me to forgive cheating?