AITA for turning down my friend’s wedding invitation because I couldn’t afford the gift?

I (27F) have been best friends with Emma (28F) since we were kids. We’ve gone through everything together: high school drama, college stress, breakups, and celebrations. So, when Emma announced that she was getting married, I was thrilled for her. I couldn’t wait to be there for her on her big day. She was always there for me, and I wanted to return the favor.

However, the closer we got to the wedding, the more pressure I started to feel. Emma had made it clear that the wedding was going to be a huge, extravagant affair. She had spared no expense, and there was talk about the high-end venue, designer dresses, and a five-course meal. As her best friend, I had always been involved in the planning process, from dress shopping to helping with the bachelorette party.

But there was one thing weighing on my mind: the wedding gift.

I’ve been struggling financially for the past year. After losing my job during the pandemic, I’ve been working part-time jobs just to make ends meet. My savings are practically nonexistent, and I’ve been trying to pay off bills and student loans. I couldn’t afford anything close to the kind of gift Emma deserved for her wedding.

I thought about it for days, and finally, I made the decision to turn down the invitation. I knew Emma would be disappointed, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go. I didn’t want to feel embarrassed by showing up empty-handed, knowing the other guests would likely be giving extravagant gifts. I sent her a message explaining my situation, apologizing, and telling her that I didn’t feel comfortable attending without being able to offer her something meaningful.

When I told Emma, she was devastated. She said I was being selfish and that it wasn’t about the gift, it was about celebrating her big day. She told me that I was making a bigger deal out of it than I needed to and that I should have just shown up and supported her like a real friend.

I feel torn. I know Emma is hurt, and I hate that I disappointed her. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I should have to go into debt to attend her wedding and give her a gift. I wanted to be honest with her, and I truly thought it was the right decision for me.

Now, some of our mutual friends are saying I’m being too dramatic and that I should’ve just gone, no matter what. Others say I did the right thing, but I still feel guilty.

So, AITA for turning down my best friend’s wedding invitation because I couldn’t afford the gift? Should I have gone anyway and just celebrated with her without worrying about the gift, or was I right to make the decision I did?