AITA for telling my friend I don’t want her to attend my wedding after finding out she has feelings for my fiancé?

I (30F) have been best friends with Alyssa (29F) since high school. We’ve been through everything together—heartbreaks, graduation, career changes, and all the typical growing-up stuff. We’ve always been each other’s support system, and I’ve always trusted her with my life. But now, I’m questioning that trust, and it’s tearing me apart.

I’m getting married to Ben (33M), who I’ve been with for five years. Ben and I have had our ups and downs, but we’ve always worked through them. Our relationship has been solid, and I truly believe we’re meant to be together. He’s kind, loving, and everything I could ever want in a partner. We recently got engaged, and I’ve been nothing but excited about our future together.

But over the past few months, something has been bothering me. Alyssa and Ben have always gotten along really well. They’ve hung out together when I wasn’t around, and I thought nothing of it. But recently, I started noticing some tension between them. Alyssa would be overly touchy with Ben, laughing a little too hard at his jokes, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable. But it wasn’t until one night that I realized something was wrong.

We were all at a party at one of our mutual friend’s houses, and at one point, I noticed Alyssa and Ben sitting together on the couch, talking in a way that didn’t feel quite right. Ben had his arm around her, and they were leaning in close, laughing. It was so much more intimate than what I was used to seeing between them. I tried to brush it off, but the image stayed with me.

The next morning, I asked Alyssa if everything was okay between her and Ben. She laughed it off, saying I was being silly. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. So, I asked Ben about it. He assured me that there was nothing going on between him and Alyssa. He said they were just friends and that I shouldn’t worry. But when he said it, there was a hesitation in his voice that I couldn’t ignore.

A few days later, Alyssa and I were having dinner, just the two of us. I brought it up again, telling her that I felt like something was going on between her and Ben. She denied it at first, but then she broke down in tears. She admitted that she had developed feelings for Ben, but she said she never acted on them because she respected our relationship. She told me that she had been struggling with her feelings for months but hadn’t known how to tell me.

I was shocked. I felt betrayed, but more than that, I felt angry. How could my best friend—someone I trusted with everything—be in love with my fiancé? How could she hide something like this from me, knowing how much I care about Ben? I asked her why she didn’t tell me earlier, and she said she didn’t want to hurt me and didn’t want to lose our friendship.

I told her that I couldn’t have her in my life if she was still harboring feelings for Ben. I couldn’t trust her anymore, and I didn’t feel comfortable having her around while I was marrying someone she had feelings for. I told her I didn’t want her to be my maid of honor anymore and that I couldn’t have her at my wedding.

Alyssa was devastated. She begged me to reconsider, but I stood firm. I told her that I couldn’t ignore the fact that she was still in love with Ben, and that it wasn’t fair to me. She accused me of overreacting and said I was being unfair to her, but I felt like she had crossed a line.

Now, she’s not speaking to me, and I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. Our mutual friends are divided. Some think I did the right thing by setting boundaries, while others think I’m being too harsh and should have forgiven her. Ben, on the other hand, is upset but supportive of my decision. He doesn’t want to lose me over something like this, but he also understands why I had to cut Alyssa out of my life.

I’ve spent a lot of time second-guessing myself. Maybe I overreacted, but I just couldn’t get past the fact that my best friend had feelings for my fiancé. I thought I could trust her with anything, but now I’m not sure if I can ever trust her again.

So, AITA for telling my best friend she couldn’t attend my wedding after finding out she had feelings for my fiancé?