AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s wedding after she stole my engagement ring?

I (30F) have always been close with my sister, Emma (27F). Growing up, we had our ups and downs, but we always had each other’s backs. Our parents were loving but strict, and they always made sure we knew that family was everything. Emma and I were different in many ways, but we balanced each other out—she was outgoing and spontaneous, while I was a planner and a bit more reserved.

A few years ago, I met Alex (32M), and we hit it off instantly. He was thoughtful, funny, and everything I had ever wanted in a partner. After a year of dating, Alex proposed. The engagement ring he gave me was stunning—an heirloom ring that had been passed down through his family for generations. It wasn’t just a beautiful piece of jewelry; it was a symbol of our future together and the love we shared. I was beyond thrilled, and I couldn’t wait to start planning our wedding.

But that excitement quickly turned to shock.

About a week after the proposal, I noticed that my ring was missing. I searched everywhere—my jewelry box, the bathroom, my nightstand—but it was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t believe it. The ring wasn’t just valuable—it was irreplaceable. I immediately contacted Alex, and we retraced every step we had taken since the proposal, but no luck. I was devastated and confused, wondering how something so precious could disappear so suddenly.

Then, I found out the truth.

I overheard Emma talking to one of our cousins about how “lucky” she was to be wearing my engagement ring. At first, I thought I had misheard, but I quickly realized that Emma had taken the ring from my place when she had come over to visit. She had convinced herself that since I wasn’t married yet, she deserved to wear the ring to “try it on” for a few days. She thought it was harmless. But to her, wearing my engagement ring was like playing dress-up.

I confronted her, and at first, she denied it. She tried to cover it up with weak excuses, but eventually, she admitted it. She said she didn’t think I would mind and that it was just a “fun” thing to do. She apologized, but her lack of understanding about the situation infuriated me. She didn’t see the value of the ring beyond its physical appearance—she didn’t understand the sentimental weight it held for me, for my relationship with Alex, and for Alex’s family.

I told her that I needed the ring back immediately, and she reluctantly agreed. When she returned it, I was furious—not just about the ring but about the betrayal of trust. I felt violated in a way I couldn’t explain. Emma didn’t seem to understand why I was so upset. She said, “It’s just a ring, calm down,” and that made me even angrier.

A few months later, Emma announced that she was getting married. I was happy for her, of course, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that things weren’t the same. When I asked her about her wedding plans, she casually mentioned that she couldn’t afford to pay for everything herself. She said that she had been saving up for a while, but with the costs of everything, she needed help. My parents were planning to contribute, but she asked me if I would pitch in for a big part of the wedding expenses—specifically for the venue and catering.

I froze. I was shocked. How could she ask me to help pay for her wedding after what she had done? After she stole my engagement ring without so much as an apology? I couldn’t fathom how she could ask me for anything, let alone a large amount of money. I reminded her of what she had done and how it had hurt me. She brushed it off, saying, “I was young and didn’t know any better,” but I wasn’t ready to forgive her. Not for something so thoughtless and selfish.

I told her that I couldn’t contribute to her wedding. I said I loved her, but the way she had treated me was unacceptable. She was stunned, and our conversation turned into a huge argument. She accused me of holding a grudge and said I was being selfish by not helping her out when she needed it most. She said I was ruining her special day by making everything about the past.

I stood my ground and refused to give her any money for the wedding. I told her that until she understood the hurt she caused me and truly apologized, I wouldn’t be able to support her in that way.

Now, the rest of the family is upset with me. My parents think I should just forgive her and help with the wedding—after all, they say it’s “just a ring,” and “family is more important.” Some of my friends think I did the right thing, but others say I should let it go. They argue that it’s just a mistake, and I shouldn’t let it affect our relationship so much. But I feel like this is about respect, and I need to set boundaries.

So, AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s wedding after she stole my engagement ring?