AITA for refusing to let my mother-in-law visit after she insulted my parenting?

I (30F) am married to Daniel (32M), and we have two kids, a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. My relationship with my mother-in-law, Evelyn (58F), has always been rocky. She’s very opinionated and tends to overstep her boundaries, especially when it comes to how I raise my children.

At first, I tried to be patient with her. She’s Daniel’s mom, and I wanted to keep the peace. But over time, I noticed how she would make comments about my parenting choices—everything from how I discipline the kids, to what they eat, to how I manage their screen time. These comments were always subtle at first, but they started becoming more direct and hurtful.

A few weeks ago, I had finally had enough. We had invited Evelyn over for dinner to celebrate our daughter’s birthday. Everything was going well until after the cake and presents. Evelyn, who had been watching me closely all evening, made a comment that I couldn’t ignore any longer. She said, “I don’t know why you let your kids have so much sugar. You know it’s bad for them, right? They’re already hyper enough.”

I was taken aback but tried to brush it off. “It’s a special occasion, Mom. They’re fine,” I replied. But Evelyn wasn’t done. She continued, “Honestly, I’m shocked. I thought you would be more responsible with them. Maybe if you were stricter, they wouldn’t be so unruly.”

That was it. I felt my blood boil. My children are well-behaved, and they’re happy. They’re not perfect, but they’re loved, and I’m doing my best. And here she was, insulting my parenting in front of my kids and our guests. It was humiliating.

I told her I didn’t appreciate her comments, and that she needed to respect my choices as a mother. Daniel was there, and he didn’t say anything, which made me even more upset. After Evelyn left, I told Daniel how upset I was, and he told me to just “let it go.” He said she was just trying to help, but I didn’t feel like it was “help.” I felt like it was a criticism of everything I was doing as a mom.

I’ve asked him multiple times to talk to his mother about her behavior, but he refuses. He says she’s just old-fashioned, and that’s how she shows love. But I feel like this is more than that. It’s hurtful, and it undermines my authority as a mother. Every time she visits, I feel like she’s scrutinizing every move I make, and I’m starting to dread her visits.

I’ve told Daniel that I don’t want Evelyn coming over anymore unless she respects my parenting. I told him that I was no longer comfortable with her spending time alone with the kids if she couldn’t keep her opinions to herself. Daniel is upset, saying I’m overreacting and that I’m causing unnecessary tension in the family. He’s accusing me of being too sensitive and not being understanding of his mother’s intentions.

Now, I’m feeling guilty. I love Daniel and I want him to have a good relationship with his mom, but I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I want respect. So, AITA for refusing to let my mother-in-law visit after she insulted my parenting?