AITA for refusing to attend my brother’s wedding because of his fiancée?

I (29F) have a brother, Alex (32M), and we’ve always been pretty close. We’ve shared a lot over the years, and I’ve always supported him in whatever he did, whether it was relationships, work decisions, or life choices. But lately, things have been tense between us, and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong or if I’m justified in my feelings.

Here’s the situation:

Alex is getting married in a few months, and he’s been with his fiancée, Sarah, for about a year. At first, I thought Sarah was really sweet. She seemed nice enough, and I was happy that Alex had found someone who made him happy. But over time, I started to notice some red flags.

Sarah is extremely controlling. I don’t mean like a little bit of control here and there—I mean full-on controlling. She tries to dictate what Alex wears, what his friends and family can and can’t say to him, and how he spends his free time. I’ve witnessed it firsthand, and it’s gotten worse over the months.

The breaking point for me was when I invited Alex and Sarah over to our house for dinner. I hadn’t seen them in a while, and I thought it would be a nice way to reconnect. Everything was going fine until Sarah started making comments about how I was “too independent” and that “I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have a real relationship because I’m so focused on my career.”

I tried to brush it off, but it was clear she was getting passive-aggressive. At one point, she even suggested that my “career obsession” was probably why I hadn’t found a man. I was shocked. She didn’t know anything about my personal life, and yet she felt the need to put me down.

I confronted Alex after dinner, asking him why he was letting Sarah talk to me like that. He got defensive and said that Sarah was just “trying to help me,” and that I needed to stop taking things so personally. This frustrated me even more because Alex had always been protective of me, but now he was choosing to stand by Sarah.

I was hurt, but I didn’t make a big deal of it at the time. However, as the wedding day approached, things got worse. Sarah started sending me passive-aggressive messages about my appearance, telling me I should “dress more appropriately” for the wedding (even though I already had my outfit picked out) and criticizing the gifts I was planning to bring.

I finally reached my breaking point. I told Alex that I didn’t feel comfortable attending the wedding if Sarah was going to continue to act like this. He tried to convince me that I was overreacting, but I told him that I couldn’t stand by and watch him marry someone who didn’t respect me.

Now, Alex is furious with me. He says I’m causing unnecessary drama and that I’m being selfish for not attending his wedding. My parents are also on his side, saying that I’m overblowing things and that it’s his choice to marry Sarah. But I’m still hurt. I can’t get over the way she’s treated me and how Alex hasn’t stepped up to defend me.

So, AITA for refusing to go to my brother’s wedding because of his fiancée’s behavior?