AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was cheating with our neighbor?

I (34F) have been married to my husband, Nathan (37M), for nine years. We met in college, bonded over shared hobbies, and married two years later. We have two children—Mia (6) and Lucas (4). Our life seemed stable, happy, and ordinary. Nathan appeared loving, attentive, and trustworthy.

A year ago, a new neighbor, Vanessa (32F), moved in next door. She was friendly, often visiting to borrow things or chat. At first, everything seemed normal—just casual neighbor interactions. But over time, I noticed Nathan spending more “time outside,” taking long walks, or stepping out for “meetings” when Vanessa was around.

His phone became secretive—he would take calls in private, change passwords, and delete messages. I started noticing odd coincidences: Vanessa visiting when Nathan claimed to be “working late,” small gifts or notes that didn’t add up.

One afternoon, I came home unexpectedly and saw Nathan and Vanessa sitting unusually close in our backyard. They were laughing, whispering, and occasionally touching. My stomach sank. My husband, the man I trusted completely, was having an affair with someone living just next door.

Over the next few weeks, I discreetly gathered evidence. I discovered months of flirtatious messages, emails, and social media interactions between Nathan and Vanessa. They had been arranging secret meetups, romantic dinners, and even weekend trips—all behind my back.

I confronted Nathan immediately. At first, he denied everything, claiming I was overreacting. But when I showed him the messages and proof of meetings, he admitted to the affair. He said it started emotionally and “just grew out of control.”

I also confronted Vanessa. She admitted she knew he was married but claimed it “just happened.” Her lack of remorse made my anger and heartbreak worse.

The emotional toll was devastating. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or focus. Every memory of our family—the birthdays, vacations, and quiet nights—felt tainted. I realized I could no longer trust Nathan or maintain a marriage built on lies and betrayal.

After weeks of reflection, I asked Nathan to leave and filed for separation. Some friends said I should forgive him for the sake of the children, while others said I did the right thing—betrayal of this magnitude cannot be ignored.

Now, months later, I am slowly rebuilding my life with Mia and Lucas, focusing on healing, work, and protecting my children’s emotional well-being. I am learning to trust myself again and creating a life free from deception.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was cheating with our neighbor?