AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he had been cheating with my best friend for years?

I (33F) have been married to my husband, Ethan (36M), for eight years. We met at a friend’s wedding, connected instantly, and got married two years later. Our life seemed perfect: a comfortable home, a stable income, and two kids—Olivia (6) and Lucas (4). Ethan always seemed loving and committed; I trusted him completely.

My best friend, Clara (32F), and I have been inseparable since college. We shared everything—secrets, vacations, milestones. She was like a sister to me. When Ethan and I got married, she was my maid of honor and someone I considered family.

About a year ago, I started noticing subtle changes. Ethan’s work schedule became unpredictable. He would leave for “late meetings” or “business trips” more often. His phone became off-limits—locked or in another room—and he became unusually defensive whenever I asked questions. Clara also began visiting our house more often. I initially thought nothing of it; she had always been helpful, especially with the kids.

One evening, I came home early from work and saw Ethan and Clara sitting very close on the couch. They were laughing, whispering, and sharing glances that didn’t feel right. My heart sank. I stood frozen in the doorway, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Over the next few days, I discreetly checked Ethan’s phone when he left for work. I found months of intimate messages between him and Clara—flirtatious texts, private jokes, and explicit plans for secret meetings. They had been emotionally involved for months, lying to me every day. My best friend—someone I trusted with everything—was betraying me.

I confronted Ethan immediately. At first, he tried to deny it, claiming it was harmless flirting. But when I showed him the messages, he admitted the truth: the affair had been ongoing for over six months. He claimed it started innocently, but feelings grew, and he couldn’t stop. He begged me to forgive him, promising it would never happen again.

I also confronted Clara. She admitted she knew Ethan was married but tried to justify herself, saying she “fell in love” and didn’t know how to stop. Her lack of remorse made my anger worse. She had participated in betraying both my friendship and my marriage.

The emotional toll was overwhelming. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or focus on anything. Every time I saw Ethan, I was reminded of the betrayal. The trust that took years to build was shattered. I realized I could no longer stay in a marriage where I couldn’t trust my partner or my closest friend.

After weeks of agonizing, I decided to leave. I asked Ethan to move out and filed for separation. Friends and family were divided: some said I should try to forgive him for the sake of the children; others said I did the right thing because betrayal this deep cannot be overlooked.

Now, months later, I’m slowly rebuilding my life. I’ve cut ties with Clara, focusing on myself and my children. Ethan regrets what happened, but the damage is done. I’m learning to trust myself again and rediscover what it feels like to live without constant fear of betrayal.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he had been cheating with my best friend for years?