AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was secretly in love with my coworker?

I (34F) have been married to my husband, Nathan (37M), for nine years. We met through a mutual friend, bonded instantly, and married two years later. We have two children—Lily (6) and Jack (4). Nathan appeared loving, supportive, and committed to our family, and I trusted him completely.

About a year ago, Nathan started taking on more work trips, claiming extra responsibilities and late-night projects. He also became very secretive with his phone and laptop. Initially, I thought it was just work stress.

Around the same time, a new coworker, Olivia (30F), joined Nathan’s team. She was friendly, helpful, and often came over for work-related discussions at Nathan’s office. I noticed small changes—Nathan would speak of her more frequently, sometimes smile at her texts while hiding his phone, and occasionally seemed distracted when we were together.

One evening, I returned home early from work and noticed messages on Nathan’s phone that he had forgotten to lock. My heart sank. They were intimate and affectionate messages exchanged over several months. Nathan and Olivia had been secretly seeing each other, planning dinners and weekend trips without telling me.

I confronted Nathan immediately. He tried to deny it at first but broke down when I showed him the messages. He admitted to having an emotional and physical affair with Olivia for almost six months. He claimed he felt “emotionally neglected” and “connected” to her in a way he hadn’t felt in years.

The betrayal hit me hard. I couldn’t believe the man I trusted with my life and our children had been secretly in love with someone else, a coworker no less. The emotional toll was unbearable—I couldn’t sleep, eat, or focus. Every family memory, every quiet evening, and every milestone felt tainted.

I also confronted Olivia, who admitted knowing Nathan was married but claimed she had “fallen for him” and didn’t know how to stop. Her lack of genuine remorse left me feeling even more humiliated and heartbroken.

After weeks of reflection, talking to trusted friends, and processing the betrayal, I realized I could no longer stay in the marriage. I asked Nathan to leave and filed for separation. Some friends suggested trying to forgive him for the sake of the children; others supported my decision, saying betrayal of this magnitude is unforgivable.

Now, months later, I am slowly rebuilding my life with Lily and Jack. I am focusing on healing, my career, and my children’s well-being, learning to trust myself again and creating a life free from lies and betrayal.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was secretly in love with my coworker?