AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was cheating with my best friend?

I (33F) have been married to my husband, Ryan (36M), for eight years. We met in college, bonded over our love for travel and books, and married two years later. We have two children, Olivia (6) and Max (4). On the surface, everything seemed perfect—loving family, stable home, and a seemingly faithful marriage.

My best friend, Clara (32F), has been a part of my life for more than 15 years. We shared everything—secrets, trips, milestones. I trusted her completely, and she was part of our family events, often helping with the children or household matters.

About a year ago, I started noticing subtle changes in Ryan. He began working late more frequently and taking “business trips” that didn’t quite add up. Clara also started visiting our home more often, sometimes staying late. At first, I thought it was harmless.

Then one evening, I came home unexpectedly and saw Ryan and Clara sitting unusually close on the couch. They were laughing, whispering, and occasionally touching. My stomach sank. I couldn’t believe the betrayal—my husband and my best friend, two people I trusted most, were hiding this from me.

Over the next few weeks, I discreetly checked Ryan’s phone and emails. I discovered months of intimate messages between him and Clara. They had been arranging private meetups, sending flirtatious messages, and planning trips together—all while pretending to be part of our family.

I confronted Ryan immediately. He initially denied everything, claiming I was imagining things. But when I showed him the messages and evidence, he admitted to the affair. He said it started emotionally and “just happened.”

I also confronted Clara. She admitted she knew he was married but claimed she “fell for him and couldn’t help herself.” Her lack of remorse made my anger and heartbreak worse.

The emotional toll was overwhelming. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or focus. Every memory of family gatherings, vacations, and quiet nights felt tainted. I realized I could no longer trust Ryan, and I couldn’t stay in a marriage built on lies and betrayal.

After weeks of reflection and discussing with friends and family, I asked Ryan to leave and filed for separation. Some friends suggested forgiveness for the sake of the children; others agreed that betrayal of this magnitude is unforgivable.

Now, months later, I am slowly rebuilding my life with Olivia and Max, focusing on my business and emotional healing. I am learning to trust myself again and creating a life free from deception.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was cheating with my best friend?