AITA for leaving my husband after I found out he was secretly in love with my cousin?

I (34F) have been married to my husband, Alex (37M), for ten years. We met at university, bonded over music and travel, and married three years later. Our life seemed perfect: a cozy home, two children—Sophie (7) and Liam (5)—and a loving, stable marriage. Alex always seemed attentive, supportive, and trustworthy.

My cousin, Rachel (32F), has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. She grew up close to my family, and I have always trusted her completely. She visits often, helps with family events, and has been someone I relied on emotionally.

About a year ago, I noticed subtle changes in Alex. He started coming home late more often, citing work meetings and projects. His phone was always with him, locked, and he became defensive when I asked questions. I initially ignored it, thinking it was work stress. But I started noticing his interactions with Rachel—too frequent, too long, and sometimes overly intimate.

One evening, I returned home early from a business trip and found Alex and Rachel sitting close on the couch in the living room. They were laughing, whispering, and touching in ways that didn’t feel innocent. My heart sank. I froze, unsure how to process what I was seeing.

Over the next few weeks, I discreetly gathered evidence. I discovered messages, emails, and even photos between Alex and Rachel that revealed months of emotional and physical intimacy. They had been planning secret meetups, sending flirtatious messages, and even talking about traveling together while I was at work or away.

I confronted Alex immediately. At first, he denied it, claiming it was harmless joking. But when I showed him the messages and evidence, he admitted to having feelings for Rachel and being involved in an affair for over six months. He claimed it started emotionally but “grew into something more.”

I also confronted Rachel. She admitted she knew he was married but tried to justify herself, saying they “fell in love” and it “just happened.” Her lack of remorse made my anger worse.

The emotional impact was devastating. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or focus. Every memory of Alex—the vacations, birthdays, quiet nights at home—felt tainted. I realized I could no longer trust him, and I couldn’t stay in a marriage where betrayal was this deep.

After weeks of reflection and consulting friends and family, I asked Alex to leave and filed for divorce. Some friends suggested I forgive him for the sake of our children; others supported my decision, saying betrayal of this magnitude is unforgivable.

Now, months later, I am slowly rebuilding my life with Sophie and Liam, focusing on healing, work, and creating a life based on trust and honesty. The pain remains, but I know leaving was the only way to protect myself and my family.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after discovering he was secretly in love with my cousin?