AITA for leaving my husband after I discovered he was secretly selling our joint property to fund another woman’s lifestyle?

I (34F) have been married to my husband, Ryan (36M), for nine years. We met in college, shared a love for art and travel, and married shortly after graduation. Over the years, we built a life together: a home, a savings account, and small investments for our future. Ryan was always charming and seemed dependable—he handled most of our finances, while I focused on work and raising our two children, Ava (6) and Ethan (4).

Over the past year, Ryan’s behavior started to shift. He became secretive about financial matters, often taking calls in another room or deleting text messages. At first, I thought he was stressed with work, but little things added up—he suddenly took out large sums of money, and I noticed discrepancies in our account statements.

I confronted him multiple times, and he brushed it off, saying the money was for “work-related expenses” or “surprises” for the family. But something didn’t feel right.

One day, while reviewing our property documents, I discovered that Ryan had secretly listed our vacation home for sale. I had no idea this was happening. When I asked him about it, he panicked and tried to lie, saying it was a hypothetical plan. But then I got proof—emails between him and another woman, Natasha (33F), who he had been secretly seeing for over six months.

The emails revealed that Ryan was funneling the money from the sale of our vacation home to support Natasha’s lavish lifestyle—designer clothes, expensive dinners, and trips—all while hiding it from me. He even admitted that he wanted to “start a new life” with her eventually.

I was in shock. The man I trusted with my life, my children, and our family finances had been living a double life. Worse, he had been planning to take money from our joint property—something that affected me and the kids directly—to support this woman. I felt completely betrayed.

I confronted Ryan immediately. At first, he tried to justify his actions, saying he felt unappreciated and that Natasha “understood him” in a way I didn’t. I couldn’t believe the audacity. I asked Natasha to stay away from our family, but she showed no remorse. She seemed entitled, even bragging about the gifts Ryan had sent her.

The betrayal left me emotionally shattered. I couldn’t trust him around our children or our finances. The home, the savings, the sense of security I had built—it was all compromised. I realized that staying in the marriage would mean living with constant lies, fear, and manipulation.

After days of sleepless nights and consulting with close friends and family, I decided I couldn’t forgive him. I asked Ryan to leave, cut ties with Natasha, and began the process of legal separation. He begged me to stay, promising to make amends and cut off all contact with Natasha, but the trust had been completely broken.

Some of our friends say I was too harsh, arguing that people make mistakes and I should have given him a chance to fix things. Others support me, saying betrayal like this—mixing emotional and financial deceit—cannot be tolerated.

Now, I’m living independently with my children, trying to rebuild our life and ensure our finances are secure. Every time I think about what happened, I feel a mix of anger, sadness, and relief that I took control of the situation before it went even further.

So, AITA for leaving my husband after I discovered he was secretly selling our joint property to fund another woman’s lifestyle?