AITA for leaving my boyfriend at the airport after he skipped my dad’s funeral for a boys trip?

My boyfriend Jake (27M) and I (25F) had been together for almost four years, and until recently, I genuinely thought he was the person I’d spend my life with. We lived together, shared expenses, raised a dog together, and constantly talked about marriage. He always told people I was “the love of his life,” and I believed him completely. But everything changed last November when my dad suddenly passed away from a heart attack. My dad was the most important person in my life — he raised me alone after my mom left, supported me through every stage of life, and was honestly my best friend. Losing him shattered me in a way I can’t even describe.

During the days leading up to the funeral, I was barely functioning. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and spent most nights crying on the bathroom floor because the reality of losing my dad felt unbearable. Jake kept promising he’d be there for me no matter what. He told my family he’d help with arrangements, said he’d stay by my side during the funeral, and acted like the perfect supportive boyfriend. That’s why I was completely blindsided when, three days before the funeral, he casually mentioned that his friends invited him on a weekend trip to Miami. At first I thought he was joking because there was no way someone would consider a vacation while their partner was planning a parent’s funeral.

But he wasn’t joking. When I asked him if he seriously planned on going, he actually said the trip was “already paid for” and that his friends would be angry if he canceled. I remember staring at him in complete disbelief while I was literally sitting at the kitchen table filling out paperwork for my father’s burial. We argued for hours, and somehow he still acted like I was being unreasonable for expecting him to stay. Then he said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget: “It’s not like your dad would know if I’m there or not.” The moment those words left his mouth, I felt something in me completely break.

Eventually, after hours of fighting, he promised he would only stay one night and fly back in time for the funeral Friday morning. I didn’t believe him, but honestly, I was too emotionally exhausted to keep arguing. I just wanted support from the person I loved. Thursday night he left for Miami while I stayed behind helping relatives organize flowers, photos, and funeral arrangements. Watching him wheel his suitcase out the door while I was grieving my father felt surreal. Before leaving, he kissed me and said, “Don’t overthink it. I’ll be there.”

Friday morning came, and Jake was nowhere to be found.

I called him over and over while getting dressed for the funeral. Straight to voicemail every single time. I texted him asking where he was. No answer. Meanwhile, family members kept asking me when Jake would arrive because he had promised everyone he’d help carry flowers and support me during the service. I kept making excuses for him even though deep down I already knew he wasn’t coming.

Standing at my father’s funeral without him was one of the loneliest moments of my life.

I remember looking around the church and seeing everyone with their partners comforting them while I stood there alone trying not to completely fall apart. My aunt had to hold my hand during the burial because I was shaking so badly. The entire time, I kept checking my phone hoping he’d at least call with an explanation.

Around 7 PM — HOURS after the funeral ended — I finally got a text from him.

“Missed my flight. Sorry.”

That was it.

No phone call. No long apology. Nothing about how devastated I must’ve felt. Just two words and a period like he forgot to pick up milk from the grocery store.

I didn’t respond.

Two days later he texted me again asking if I could pick him up from the airport because Uber prices were “insane.” I actually laughed out loud reading it because the audacity felt unreal. I ignored him again, but he kept calling nonstop until eventually I answered.

The first thing he said was, “So are you coming or not?”

Not “How are you?”
Not “I’m sorry.”
Not even “I messed up.”

Just asking for a ride.

Something inside me snapped.

I told him he could figure it out himself since apparently his boys trip was more important than being there for me when I buried my father. He immediately got defensive and started saying I was “dragging this out too much” because he already apologized. Then he blamed the airline, blamed his friends for pressuring him to go, and somehow even blamed me for making him “feel guilty” before the trip.

That’s when I hung up.

When he finally got home hours later, he acted irritated instead of remorseful. He walked into our apartment complaining about airport food and travel delays while I sat there still grieving. At one point he actually said, “I can’t change the past, so can we stop talking about it?”

I looked at this man — the man I thought I’d marry — and realized I didn’t even recognize him anymore.

The next morning while he was sleeping, I packed some clothes, took my dog, and left for my aunt’s house. I also left the apartment key on the counter with a note saying:

“You taught me exactly who you are when I needed you most.”

Since then, his friends and even some mutual friends have been blowing up my phone saying I overreacted because “people make mistakes.” Jake’s mom called me crying saying he’s depressed and barely eating because I left him.

But honestly? I keep thinking about how alone I felt standing beside my father’s coffin while my boyfriend was drinking in Miami.

And I don’t think I can forgive that.

So… AITA?