AITA for confronting my husband, mother, and brother after I found out they were all involved in a betrayal?

I (33F) have been married to Tom (35M) for 8 years. Our relationship had always seemed rock solid. We met in college, and our connection was instant. After dating for a few years, we got married, bought a house, and started building the life we always dreamed of. Tom was my rock, and I never doubted his love or loyalty—until everything started to fall apart.

I grew up in a tight-knit family. My parents, especially my mom, have always been supportive, but they also had high expectations for me. I was the oldest child, and my brother, Jack (30M), was three years younger. My relationship with Jack had always been close, though not without occasional disagreements. Still, he was always my little brother, and I would do anything for him.

Things began to change when I found out that Tom had been coming home later from work than usual. At first, I thought it was nothing to worry about—maybe he was just putting in extra hours to secure his career. But then I started noticing things. Tom would leave his phone unlocked, which was unusual for him, and whenever I asked him about his day, he would become defensive. I started to feel like I was being kept in the dark.

One night, I came home early from a business trip, hoping to surprise Tom. When I walked into our living room, I found something that I never could have imagined. Tom was sitting on the couch, laughing with my mother. That alone didn’t seem too unusual, but what struck me was the intimacy of the moment—the way they leaned toward each other, the shared glances, and the laughter that seemed to linger longer than it should have. I didn’t think much of it at first, but when I saw them both flinch when I walked in, I knew something was wrong.

Later that evening, I asked Tom what was going on. He denied anything was happening between them, but my gut told me otherwise. I had to confront him about it, and after some pushing, Tom confessed that he had been emotionally involved with my mother for the past year. They had been meeting regularly, spending time together, and even sharing intimate conversations behind my back. Tom told me it started innocently enough, with him venting about work to her, but their relationship had turned into something much more.

My world came crashing down. I felt sick to my stomach. But that wasn’t the worst part. Tom admitted that there had been physical moments between him and my mother, though he claimed it was “just a mistake” that shouldn’t have happened. I could barely process the fact that not only had my husband betrayed me, but my mother—someone I had trusted implicitly—was also involved.

When I confronted my mother, her response was equally devastating. She claimed she had been going through a difficult time, feeling neglected by my father, and she and Tom had developed an emotional bond that turned into something physical. She said she was sorry, but at the same time, she justified her actions by saying she “needed someone” in her life. She never once acknowledged the fact that she had broken my trust in the worst way possible.

At that moment, everything felt like a nightmare. My husband, my mother—both of them, people I loved and trusted—had shattered the foundation of my life. But the worst part was yet to come.

I went to speak with my brother, Jack, who had been strangely absent during this entire ordeal. He was the one person I thought I could turn to for support. But when I told him what had happened, he surprised me by saying that he knew about the affair. Not only did he know, but he had been covering for Tom and my mother. Jack admitted that he had witnessed their interactions and had turned a blind eye to it, convincing himself that they were just going through a phase.

My brother didn’t even seem sorry. He claimed he didn’t want to get involved and didn’t want to be the one to “tear the family apart.” I was in complete shock. My own brother had known about the betrayal and chose to protect them instead of me, his sister. I felt completely alone and abandoned.

In that moment, I made the hardest decision of my life. I told Tom and my mother that I needed space from them. I could no longer be married to someone who had betrayed me so deeply, and I couldn’t have a relationship with my mother, knowing what she had done. As for Jack, I told him that I could never forgive him for covering up the affair. He had chosen to stay silent when I needed him the most, and I couldn’t keep him in my life if he couldn’t stand by me.

I filed for divorce from Tom, and though it felt like the hardest decision I had ever made, I knew it was the only way I could move forward. As for my mother and brother, I cut off contact with both of them. I needed to take care of myself, and I couldn’t keep living in a world where the people closest to me had betrayed me in such a profound way.

Now, months later, I’m starting to heal. I’ve moved into my own place, and I’m focusing on rebuilding my life. Some of my friends and family say I did the right thing, while others say I should have forgiven them, especially for the sake of family. They argue that relationships are complicated, and I shouldn’t throw everything away over one mistake.

So, AITA for confronting my husband, mother, and brother after I found out they were all involved in this betrayal?