AITA for confronting my husband after I found out he was secretly engaged to another woman?

I (33F) have been married to my husband, Nathan (36M), for eight years. We met at a mutual friend’s wedding, fell in love quickly, and got married two years later. Our life seemed perfect—we had a cozy home, two kids (Sophie, 5, and Ryan, 3), and shared responsibilities evenly. Nathan was always loving and charming; I trusted him completely.

Things started to feel off about a year ago. Nathan began coming home late from work and making excuses for why he couldn’t spend time with the kids. He became secretive with his phone, always taking calls in private, and even started closing his laptop whenever I walked in. At first, I thought it was work stress, but my instincts told me something was wrong.

One day, while he was out on a “business meeting,” I received a message from a number I didn’t recognize. It was a wedding invitation, addressed to Nathan and a woman named Isabella (32F). I thought it was a mistake, so I opened the message. My heart sank when I realized it was a real wedding invite—and it was for Nathan’s engagement to another woman.

I was stunned. I couldn’t comprehend how he could be living a double life. I confronted him when he returned home, and after hours of pleading and crying, Nathan admitted everything. He said he had met Isabella about three years ago at a conference and had secretly developed a relationship with her while still married to me. Over time, he had grown attached to her, and she had convinced him to get engaged to her behind my back.

He tried to explain, saying he “never wanted to hurt me” and that he had been confused about his feelings, but I couldn’t process the betrayal. Every memory of our marriage now felt tainted—every dinner, every trip, every moment spent with him seemed like a lie.

I asked Isabella to stay away from our home and our children, but she didn’t seem remorseful. She claimed she didn’t know he was married and had trusted him completely. It was clear she had been aware that Nathan was married but had convinced herself that their relationship was justified.

The emotional fallout was devastating. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or focus on anything. I felt humiliated and heartbroken. I knew I couldn’t stay in the marriage. Nathan begged me to stay, promising he would end things with Isabella and commit fully to our family, but I couldn’t trust him anymore.

After weeks of therapy, talking to friends, and soul-searching, I decided to file for divorce. I realized that my well-being and the safety and stability of our children had to come first. Some of our friends think I overreacted, saying I should have given him a chance to fix things, but I felt that his betrayal was unforgivable.

Now, I’m rebuilding my life independently. The pain is still there, but I know I made the right choice for myself and my children.

So, AITA for confronting my husband and filing for divorce after I found out he was secretly engaged to another woman while married to me?