AITA for confronting my husband after I found out he was cheating on me with my mother?

I (32F) have been married to my husband, Mark (35M), for 7 years. We met through mutual friends, and our relationship moved fast. After two years of dating, we got married. We had a beautiful ceremony, and everything seemed perfect. Mark and I shared a home, built a life together, and even had a daughter, Lily (4F). Life, despite its challenges, seemed stable and happy. But, like everyone says, appearances can be deceiving.

For the most part, Mark and I got along well. Sure, there were small disagreements, but nothing that ever felt insurmountable. I always thought that I could trust him, that we were a team. But over the past year, something felt different. Mark began to withdraw. He was coming home late from work more often, and his phone was always face down. When I would ask him about it, he’d just brush me off, saying he was busy with work.

I didn’t think much of it at first, until I started noticing other things. When we were out with friends, he seemed distracted, and when I asked him what was wrong, he’d say he was “just tired.” There was an emotional distance between us that I couldn’t ignore. Then came the day that changed everything.

I was at home, cleaning up, when I saw a text message pop up on Mark’s phone. I don’t normally go through his phone, but for some reason, this time, I felt compelled to check. The message was from an unknown number, and it said, “I can’t wait to see you again tonight. Don’t forget, I’m waiting for you.” At first, I thought I was imagining things, but my gut told me something was wrong. I decided to confront him.

When I asked him about the message, he immediately became defensive. He said it was just a friend, nothing to worry about. But my instincts screamed that something was off, so I pressed further. That’s when he finally admitted the truth.

Mark had been having an affair. But what made it even worse, the thing I still can’t wrap my head around, was that the person he had been cheating with was my mother (54F).

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it. How could this happen? How could the two people I trusted the most—my husband and my mother—betray me like this? My mind was spinning. The thought of them together, the lies they must have told, the manipulation—it all felt like a nightmare.

Mark apologized, saying it was a one-time mistake. He said he never meant for things to go as far as they did. He told me that it started as a “flirtation” but quickly became something more. He claimed he was confused and didn’t know what had happened, but now he was committed to working through it.

My mother, on the other hand, tried to justify her actions when I confronted her. She said she had never meant to hurt me, that she didn’t realize how much it would affect me, but that she and Mark “had a connection” that went beyond what I could understand. She claimed she was going through a rough time and Mark had “helped her” feel better. My heart broke into a thousand pieces hearing her say that. I felt like the ultimate betrayal wasn’t just from Mark—it was from the one person who was supposed to be there to protect me.

I told her I never wanted to speak to her again. I told her that she had crossed a line that could never be undone. She begged me for forgiveness, saying she was sorry, but I couldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t understand how she could do this to me, how she could betray her own daughter for her own selfish needs. The emotional damage she caused was irreparable.

Mark, on the other hand, begged me to stay and promised he would cut off all contact with my mother. He said he wanted to fix our marriage and that the affair was a “huge mistake” that he regretted. But I couldn’t shake the image of them together, the thought that he had looked me in the eyes every day while sleeping with my mother behind my back. How could I ever trust him again? How could I ever see him the same way?

I struggled with this for weeks. I was emotionally torn. I wanted to stay for the sake of our daughter, but every time I looked at Mark, I saw a man who had betrayed me in the worst possible way. Every time I thought about my mother, the woman who I thought was supposed to protect me, I felt sick. My family tried to intervene, telling me to forgive both of them. They said it was just a mistake and that we could move past it. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let them off the hook so easily.

Eventually, I made the decision to ask for a divorce. I couldn’t continue living with someone who had lied and betrayed me in such an intimate way. I couldn’t live under the same roof as my mother after what she did. I needed to protect my own emotional well-being and be a role model for my daughter. I filed for divorce and made it clear to my mother that she was no longer a part of my life.

Mark was devastated, but I was resolute. He begged me to reconsider, to work through it for the sake of our daughter, but I couldn’t. The damage was too deep. My friends and family were divided. Some said I did the right thing, that I deserved better, while others told me I was being too harsh. They argued that I should try to repair things, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was doing the right thing by removing myself from this toxic situation.

Now, months later, I’m living on my own with my daughter. It hasn’t been easy, and I still struggle with the pain of the betrayal, but I’m slowly healing. My life feels lighter without the constant emotional weight of that toxic relationship.

So, AITA for confronting my husband and asking for a divorce after I found out he was cheating with my mother?